When a romantic relationship ends, whether by divorce or otherwise, parents often find that their residual emotions spill over into their dealings with one another as they try to work together to parent their children. This can, obviously, pose difficulties in a shared child custody arrangement. We have previously discussed techniques which you can use to mitigate conflict when attempting to co-parent with someone who cannot, or will not, treat you politely and with respect. A review of those articles (Part 1 and Part 2 of this series) will give context to the information which we are discussing today.
As mentioned in this prior article, reducing the contact and communication between parents who highly-conflict with one another is usually beneficial for a child or children, everything else being equal. One of the effects of these reductions, however, is that “regular” co-parenting will not work. These parents will, instead, “Parallel Parent” their child or children.
It is well established that healthy parents provide stability to their families. As children grow, learn, and work to figure-out how to be and thrive in this world, they derive security from parental love, support and protection. That security allows them to develop as they should. And, even if their parents do not live together, children tend to thrive if they feel that both parents are still there for them.
We have been successfully handing divorce cases for our clients since 1991. Over that time period, we have literally represented hundreds of women. In fact, our very first divorce client was a woman who had a contested divorce case involving child issues. While representing women, we have noticed that certain issues arise more frequently for them as a group, than for men. This piece will discuss a few of those issues, and then, will offer additional information about how everyone should prepare for an upcoming divorce case.
So, you have a Child Support Order that you believe is no longer right for you, and you want to know if it can be changed. How can you tell?
The Texas Family Code provides that your Child Support Order may be modified if:
- It has been three or more years since the order was established or last modified and the monthly amount of the child support ordered differs by either 20 percent or $100 from the amount that would be awarded according to the Child Support Guidelines;
According to the most recent statistics available, approximately 3,200,000 children are investigated each year by the various Child Protective Services agencies operating within the United States of America. Of course, not all of those investigations result in findings of abuse or neglect. And, while no one who has been through that experience would call it “enjoyable,” we, unfortunately, have no system of investigating child abuse or neglect which is perfect at avoiding putting innocent parents through such investigations.
The purpose of this writing is to lay-out some ideas on what you can do if you find yourself being investigated by CPS.
The first thing to do is to remain calm. This lets you converse intelligently with the CPS case investigator with whom you are dealing.
Texas law (the Texas Family Code) provides that CPS shall investigate reports that a child has been abused or neglected. Those reports are typically made through either a phone call, or online ( ph. 1-800-252-5400 or www.txabusehotline.org).
The law goes on to state that the investigation shall be “prompt and thorough,” and may require the assistance of local law enforcement. And when that investigation reveals an “immediate danger” to the welfare of the child, then CPS may remove the child from his or her home, either with or without first obtaining a court order, depending on whether “there is …time” “consistent with the health and safety of (the) child” to first obtain a court order (such as a temporary restraining order).
In the first installment of this series, entitled “How Child Custody Cases are Won (Part 1),” we went over the specific factors which a Judge will use to decide our custody case. Next, in Part 2, we focused on our initial case presentation, such as: letting the Judge know up-front about the specific rulings that we want the court to make at the end of the hearing; and, explaining how parenting has been done in this family up until now. If you have not yet read those posts (or if you have read them, but could use a refresher), then you should refer back to those earlier writings, (linked above) before reading Part 3. That will help you put the new information presented here into proper context.
Frequently Asked Questions about Divorce and Child Custody
Q1: For how long must a person live in Texas before he or she can obtain a divorce in Texas?
A: The wife, the husband, or both spouses must have lived in Texas for at least the most recent six months (this is referred to as “being domiciled in Texas”)
Had a home for at least the last ninety days, in the particular county in which the divorce case will be filed (this is what is meant by “being a resident” of that county).
Child custody cases are some of the most serious types of cases heard by our courts. And yet, many people shoot themselves in the foot with their own, silly behavior during their cases. They do this despite having paid thousands of dollars for lawyers, psychologists, mediators, and other professionals involved in these cases. And, they do it even though it works against what they are trying to accomplish by spending numerous hours working on their cases with the various professionals involved with their case. Let’s see some common ways that they do this.
Social media. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr are great ways to communicate with supportive people, and to present ourselves in our best light. Well, except for when we post pictures of ourselves misbehaving, or behaving irresponsibly, with our friends and coworkers. Think about that tag of you having fun at that special party or Happy Hour. Would you want that image to represent you a trial? If not, then don’t post it.
Also, if you are involved in a divorce, or contested child custody case, you should think twice about the urge to comment on your case; or, on the fitness of your child’s other parent. And it also doesn’t help your case to have a new romantic interest being interjected into your case by appearing prominently within your Facebook feed. At the very least, that opens up a new area of inquiry for others who are involved in your case. And, anything negative that is discovered about that new lover will be transferred to your character.