Initial Steps That You Can Take
In the first three articles of the series, we have discussed things to do, along with what to avoid, when attempting to parent a child(ren) with someone who is disrespectful, rude, or dismissive of you and your parenting preferences. A review of those articles (Part 1 , Part 2, and Part 3 of this series) will bring you up-to-speed on good ground rules and practices that you should be using, if you find yourself in this situation.
When a romantic relationship ends, whether by divorce or otherwise, parents often find that their residual emotions spill over into their dealings with one another as they try to work together to parent their children. This can, obviously, pose difficulties in a shared child custody arrangement. We have previously discussed techniques which you can use to mitigate conflict when attempting to co-parent with someone who cannot, or will not, treat you politely and with respect. A review of those articles (Part 1 and Part 2 of this series) will give context to the information which we are discussing today.
As mentioned in this prior article, reducing the contact and communication between parents who highly-conflict with one another is usually beneficial for a child or children, everything else being equal. One of the effects of these reductions, however, is that “regular” co-parenting will not work. These parents will, instead, “Parallel Parent” their child or children.
It is well established that healthy parents provide stability to their families. As children grow, learn, and work to figure-out how to be and thrive in this world, they derive security from parental love, support and protection. That security allows them to develop as they should. And, even if their parents do not live together, children tend to thrive if they feel that both parents are still there for them.
Committed relationships, such as marriages, are bedrock institutions of our society. When these relationships are healthy, they provide us with joy, contentment, stability, connection, and opportunities for personal growth. But, unfortunately, not all such intimate relationships become, and remain, healthy for both partners. Continuing with our series, we will discuss today some additional warning signs, or bad omens, for marriages.
All good marriages have their ups and downs. That is normal and healthy, because it shows that both partners are committed to the marriage, vulnerable, and working on their relationship with one another. In a loveless marriage, by contrast, there is not an intimate connection nor commitment to the marriage, and so, it is easy to not care enough: about your spouse, nor the relationship, to get upset; to work to make things better. Strong emotion is evidence of a connection between two people. But, when is that connection worth fighting for? That is what this series of posts, which we begin today, is about.
We have been successfully handing divorce cases for our clients since 1991. Over that time period, we have literally represented hundreds of women. In fact, our very first divorce client was a woman who had a contested divorce case involving child issues. While representing women, we have noticed that certain issues arise more frequently for them as a group, than for men. This piece will discuss a few of those issues, and then, will offer additional information about how everyone should prepare for an upcoming divorce case.
Last month, we started this conversation by discussing the Court Orders that are immediately available to victims of Family Violence; some, even before the Protective Order case has been filed. Those orders are designed to offer legal protection to victims right away, before there is time for proper notice and a hearing to occur. This is, obviously, very important, so all of that information is available here. With those immediate protections in place, we can now look to what happens next.
Sadly, Family Violence occurs far too often in Texas (as well as worldwide). According to the Texas Council on Family Violence, 158 women were killed by a male intimate partner in 2015; and, shockingly, 1 in 3 Texans will experience domestic violence in their lifetimes. If you are one of these victims, then please contact a helping organization such as Denton County Friends of the Family or the Department of Texas Health and Human Services’ Family Violence Program for 24-hour help, including emergency shelter services.
Folks who marry young often do not own much property beyond personal effects and, perhaps, some furniture and a motor vehicle of some sort. Throw in some idealistic notions about the assured permanency of their marriage, and you typically get a couple having little to no interest in preparing a Prenuptial Agreement to spell out their respective rights when their marriage ends (as all do, either by death or divorce). But, when that couple has been together long enough to have weathered some of life’s storms together, and perhaps accumulated some property, that couple may then want to do some planning for “what if’s.” A specific kind of Texas Marital Property Agreement, called a “Partition or Exchange Agreement,” can be entered into by that married couple, so as to provide certainty as to what will happen to them when their marriage ends (again, either by death or divorce). That is what we will be discussing today.