Today, we see more women who earn about as much as, or more than, their husbands—some a lot more than their husbands. And yet, according to the latest statistics that we could find on the subject, just 29.3% of wives out-earned their husbands in 2013, according to data compiled by the Bureau of Labor Statistics . Consequently, when a marriage ends, we find more women looking at potentially-serious financial trouble than men (granted, divorce typically makes finances harder on both former spouses; just to a larger degree for many women than men).
Temporary Spousal Support or Alimony might help when available. But, even if those are awarded, they won’t last forever (please see the linked articles for more details about the availability and duration of those support awards in Texas).
It is important that you consider your finances as you start to contemplate divorce, so that you can make a plan in this area of your life.
Assuming that you will win custody by default, because you are “The Mom.”
Once upon a time, i,e. during the Nineteenth Century, American children were routinely awarded to their respective fathers, because women were not entitled to own property, enter into binding legal arrangements (such as through contract), and rarely were able to earn enough to support herself and children.
That tradition was reversed when the Maternal Preference became the dominant idea about where children should live, and which parent would do a better job raising them. During that latter period, Mothers were awarded custody, unless they were proved to be “unfit.”
Nowadays, there is no legal preference for either mothers or fathers to be presumptively awarded custody of their children. Instead, our courts make such awards, as with all other orders pertaining to children, according to what the court finds to be in the “best interest” of the children. This means that mothers might lose custody of their children, and end-up paying child support to the children’s father, unless they take their trial preparation seriously. In our experience, most fathers who ask for custody usually will be prepared to explain to the Presiding Judge why they should have custody. It is up to us to be thoroughly prepared to counter those arguments, and to effectively make our own arguments for why you, the children’s mother, should win the custody battle. This means dealing with these issues seriously and thoughtfully.
Feeling like “a Failure”
When a marriage ends through divorce, it is common for women to feel like they have failed themselves or their children. While there are exceptions to every generalization, it is our experience that men blame themselves, and fell like failures, significantly less often than women do.
Learning lessons from our experiences is how we grow as human beings. But, endlessly beating ourselves up for a failure usually contributed to by both spouses serves no useful purpose. It merely makes us feel bad, and takes away our power to fight for ourselves and our kids. Often, visiting with a good counselor can help us process negative events in a constructive manner.
Divorce can be hard. By addressing the three issues discussed in this piece, it can be less hard for you. We plan on writing more about related issues in the future, so please bookmark this blog site, or sign-up for our Mailing List to stay abreast of our latest posts. Also, we do have many other articles posted on this site about divorce and other Family Law matters, such as this one, discussing the 8 steps that everyone should take to prepare for a potential divorce case, so please feel free to browse through our post archive.
That is all for now. Until next time, keep looking up!